Option 1
The cave north of the crooked tree at 3PM every fourth friday starting... now.
Option 2
The delapidated old phone booth in the field north of North Bennington every time a politician tells a half truth. Phone number to be found on the back of the last napkin in every stack.
Option 3
First contact the lonely looking middle aged man across the room from you the next time you eat at a Red Lobster. Do what he tells you to do. On the monkey's paw there will be a false name that will lead you to a small enclave of wiccans living in large-ish grove outside of the next town over from where you are at this point. Avoid the twin temptations of the gold embroidered garments to your left and the feast to your right. Go to the location on the tapestry depicted at the end of the hall. There you will find a parrot trained to say only the phone number of a certain warehouse. Within the warehouse is a self aware computer. Follow its directions. I live two blocks south of that Kinkos. (note: there is a small possibility that you may have missed the correct middle aged man and have just ended up in Deluth staring at a resigned looking elderly woman who, unfortunately, keeps getting my mistaken followers at her door)
Option 4
6 paces south. 9 paces west. 100 meters northeast. 4 feet arround that old well. 8 blocks through the town. 8 hours of a bus ride. 4 hours of waiting in line in the Regan International Airport then a 2 hour flight. 2000 paces west. 50 paces south. 2 inches North East and look just a little bit to your left. Walk there. Look down. Hello.
Option 5
Email: jappatat@gmail.com